The proverbial blind man
by bEaUtYoFeXiStEnCe
Summary: I do not own the characters. This story is told through the eyes of Isaac, good friend of Hazel and Augustus. Although the characters cease to exist the moment their stories are told, i believe that Isaac deserves some light. Please enjoy.


**The proverbial blind man**

**Chapter 1**

I had a terrible dream. All I saw was darkness. I could still hear sounds, but I was blind to my surroundings. The sounds were normal. From not too far away, my mother was humming to a song she liked while making breakfast. Everything was normal except for the situation. I was just about to scream out for my mum, but then the reality of my life hit me hard. This was no dream. This was my unfortunate life.

A dark life, of me trying to look further into the depths of my blindness, hoping to find an exit out into the world of color and pictures and smiles and stars, but instead, it just seems to get darker. I did end up screaming for my mother, but not because I was scared, just because I needed to get out of bed. Of course, I was probably scared as well, but the need to get out of bed was, at that moment, much more salient than the need to ponder my fears and worries.

"MUM" I yelled, not so loud that it stirred the neighbors, but loud enough to make my mother sprint to Isaac's room to check on her dear darling blind little man, who was ever so needy after having his own eyes ripped out of his own eye sockets after his own body betrayed him, handing him over to the control of the cancer. But, how could he complain, he knew he didn't have the worst situation. The memory of the blue eyed boy saddened Isaac deeply, and he let out a sob, before wiping his nose and listening to the sound of approaching footsteps. "Are you okay sweetie" his mother asked as she entered. "I'm fine mum, but the light isn't working, I can't see a damn thing in here." Isaac was always known by his friends as 'the funny guy,' but he hasn't had the time to entertain many people, due to his new full-time occupation of being blind.

Isaac's mum did not reply to his joke, but she moved over to his bed and grabbed his shoulders as he pulled himself out of bed. She leads Isaac to the kitchen and sits him down at the table. "What food delicacy will I have the privilege of eating today, dear mother?"

"Pancakes" his mother replied. "Ah, the sweet pancake. Before we eat this fine and well-prepared meal, let us give thanks. We give thanks to the ancient Greeks, who have increased our knowledge over the generations, and given us the pancake, the meal for which we are blessed enough to be able to eat, and so we acknowledge them, we remember that they are the reasons behind this gifts, so without further ado, let us-"

"Isaac, hurry up and eat your breakfast, before it gets cold." Isaac looks down at where he thinks the pancake is, and says "Well, how you have sneaked up on me. I didn't even notice you" and with that, he gobbles it up, eating three more before he decides that he has had enough.

After breakfast, Isaac's mum helps him back up to his room. When he gets to his room, which he now knows his way around, he plays video games.

He does that for most of the day, almost every day, because it is one of the few things that do not require sight (the video games he had were made for blind people.) The unfortunate thing is, it's bad when you let your cancer take over you, because then you're wasting the last precious moments of your life, but when you go blind, you have no choice, because most of the great things in life require sight, so all you can do is sit around, unless you get help from someone, but Isaac doesn't want to bother his mother with all of his problems, so he just sits in his room. Apart from when he goes to support group.

Support group was this group full of cancer kids that met every Wednesday. Basically, kids just talked about battles, hopes, dreams and death sometimes. This guy named Patrick ran the group. A long time ago, Patrick had had cancer, and people thought he was going to die, but he didn't, so instead of losing his life, he lost his testicles, and now he spends his sad pathetic life helping others get through their lives. Isaac had seen kids come and go, he had listened to Patrick read off that too-long list, he had said the prayers, and he still managed to go back the next time. Sometimes, Isaac had used to look around at the other group members (when he still had eyes) and wondered if was going to see them next time.

He still did wonder. He listened to their voices. It didn't sound like anything special. They were just voices. But, even though all he saw was darkness, the sounds of other people did reassure him, like they brought him closer to the light, but no further away from his blindness.

Of course, there was always Hazel, but she was a bit…fragile for the time being. He could always visit, but he got the feeling she was not in a talkative mood. It had been a while. The only way Isaac could spend time with people was when he was in the same room as them, but seeing as he couldn't go to school, and didn't get out of the house much, he didn't have many people to talk to, and even if he did, he would know deep down that being with a blind person can make you feel awkward, and Isaac didn't want to make everyone else feel like they had caught a disease, or even worse, feel like Isaac was the disease.

Every time Isaac hears somebody's phone, he remembers the days of texting and calling whenever he felt like it. Of course, Isaac may eventually be able to use a phone again, but until then, he will have to do with face to face conversation.

Isaac missed Hazel. Isaac missed a lot of people, Hazel, Monica (but not as much as before,) Augustus… Yeah, Monica is Isaac's former girlfriend. Back when they were dating, Isaac really thought that, that they had something special, but Isaac had no such luck. Monica indelibly dumped him at the time he was most vulnerable, weeks away from his surgery, weeks from the surgery that would turn him in to an irreversible blind man. They constantly told each other always, more than a promise, an oath, they would always love and stay with each other, but no, She dumped him because she couldn't handle him being blind.

SHE couldn't handle it. Well, guess what, I understand why you did it, but I will never forgive you Monica. Anyway, she broke Isaac's heart, but Isaac didn't think about her as much as he used to. Now, he was blind, single, almost friendless, and bored out of his mind.

Isaac played video games until 9 pm, at which time he hopped into bed (by himself.) Isaac just lay there for a while, contemplating the next day. When he did enter sleep, he had a dream. The next morning, he did not remember the dream, but he did remember that he could see in that dream. He saw, people, with their bright smiles, colors flowing with equal brightness in color. He did not remember who was in his dream, but he could guess. It was a great experience, dreaming, but it did not make reality any better for him.

The next day, things went pretty much the same, except today was support group day. His mum drove over to the church where they had the meetings. When they got inside, his mum asked "Do you want to take the elevator sweetie?" Isaac replied "No" and they walked up the stairs. They arrived five minutes early, so only half of the group were there (not that Isaac could tell) so Isaac grabbed some food while his mum talked to Patrick.

After a few minutes, in which Isaac had become completely oblivious to everything, Patrick asked everyone to take a seat, and Isaac's mother came over to him. "Do you want me to stay Isaac?" she asked. Isaac shakes his head no, and his mother leaves, reassuring him that she would be there at least five minutes before the meeting ended, but as it turned out, she would not be the one to escort him out after the meeting.

Isaac barely listened. Patrick talked about his cancer, his remission, and his lack of testicles. Next came the introductions. Patrick asked everyone their age, their diagnosis, and how they were doing. Isaac answered the questions, but did not acknowledge them. In fact, Isaac dismissed the whole meeting, until one of the new girls spoke. "How old are you, um-" Patrick asks the girl.

"Alisha" she replies. "Fifteen."

"And your diagnosis?"

"Ewing's sarcoma" she answers. Patrick nods. "And how are you?"

Isaac hears her answer, and it jars him out of his unconsciousness. "Me? I'm fine. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up." Isaac is so surprised that he nearly falls out of his chair. He can feel everybody's eyes on him (a sense that has become more and more frequent since the surgery) and instantly oozes embarrassment. "Are you okay Isaac?" Isaac lifts his head and answers "Uh, yeah, I guess" and Patrick continues with the next person. Isaac does not speak again, but his mind races at a thousand miles an hour.

There was only one person who ever said those exact words that girl-Alisha said. How could that be a coincidence? Isaac keeps his ears sharp for the rest of the meeting, hoping that Alisha would say something. She never did. As soon as the meeting ended, Isaac stood up, hoping to talk to the girl, but when he stood up, he realized there was something different. His mother wasn't there. She would have put her hands on his shoulders like she usually did. No way had she forgotten about him, the thought almost made him laugh, but worry was spreading throughout him. Where could she be? Before anything else could go through Isaac's mind, he felt a girls hand on his arm. He knew it wasn't his mothers, they were too small. Maybe it was Alisha. But no, it wasn't her. "Isaac" the voice said. Isaac heard the voice, knew who it was instantly, but no, it couldn't have been.

"Isaac, it's okay, it's only me" the voice said. Isaac realized he was sweating. He put one hand on the chair to steady himself. "Do you want to sit-?"

"No" he interrupted. "Okay" she said. She went silent after that, so Isaac talked. "What do you want? I thought you were done with me." Monica sighs sadly. "You don't deserve to hear my crap, and I don't want to hurt you any further."

"Well, coming here hasn't helped." Monica replies "Look, I, I'm, god Isaac, what have I done to you?" she asks, and breaks down. She starts crying. "Am I supposed to feel sorry for you?" Isaac asks her, disgusted. Who the hell was she, crying in front of the boy whose heart she broke.

She shakes her head violently. "No" she silently screams, "this is not how it was supposed to go. I just wanted to talk. I just wanted to; I don't even know how to apologies. I don't know how to forgive myself. For so long now, I wake up feeling sick. I don't know why I did this to you. It was just, just, too hard, I just couldn't deal with, with all of-" she couldn't continue. She continued to cry in the literal heart of Jesus.

Isaac glanced at Patrick. He was packing up, ignoring the two as if they weren't there. Patrick probably knew what it was like, breaking hearts, healing broken hearts; he understood the importance of privacy, especially when it comes to broken hearts. "I just" Monica continues "I just wish that, that things had gone differently." She was no longer crying heavily, but more tears came. "I know you don't want to see me, but I just, just, just wanted to, I don't know, check in on you. I was thinking maybe, we could be friends, maybe, if you do ever forgive me, we could…" She left the sentence unanswered, giving Isaac the opportunity to speak. For once, Isaac was glad he couldn't see. He was pissed at Monica, but he didn't want to see her. Not now, with her tear streaked face, months of sadness pouring out of her eyes. He didn't know what to say to her. He was still mad. Still hadn't forgiven her. He so wanted to say yes to being friends with her, but there was still the fact that she had not spoken to him once since the surgery until now. He couldn't forgive her just yet. He knew, or rather, believed that her apology was genuine, but that didn't take away what she did. "I just don't know any more Monica" Isaac started. "For so long, what you did to me seemed worse than losing my eyes. For so long, the agony and pain from you leaving, was worse than the agony and pain of having my eyes ripped out. It took so long to get over the fact that you were gone. The only happy thing in my life was…well was, then that was gone as well and I just, just. Eventually, I got over you, but I never forgot you. I really thought we had something. I just can't forgive you now. Not yet. It's taken this long for you to finally see me; it's going to take like, twice that for me to forgive you."

Monica stayed silent the whole time Isaac talked, didn't even move, and she remained silent for mere seconds, but seemed to remember herself and said "I should take you to your mother. She's probably worried." Isaac didn't reply. He offered her arm, and she took it. The walked to Isaac's mum's car, which was approximately ten footsteps away from the door. Before Monica opened the car door for Isaac, she said "I want to see you again some time." Isaac nodded. "I will consider my options." Monica almost smiled. She said nothing, but she didn't have to. As soon as his mother started driving, she said "So Monica again, huh?"

Isaac smiled, although the fact that his mother asked wasn't the reason. "It's starting to look like it" and he spent the next few days thinking, dreaming and hoping, not about Monica, but about the life he would have if they maintained a healthy friendship. Maybe she could make up for…no, no one could replace him. But, sometimes the stars never fall.


End file.
